These bios are always weird to do and hard to write. I always want to start them off like:
"My names Nicole and I like long walks in the rain" ... nope! That was a different website for a different time.
Or the third person effect:
"Nicole has attended The Institute of Integrative Nutrition where she earned her coaching certification and blah blah blah." ... Yeah, that's lame.
Or how about the dramatic effect (imagine deep voice trailer guy):
"In a world where infertility affects 14% of women we bring you a Fertility Advocate!" ... This one could be fun though right? I could be the superhero fighting hormone imbalances and emotional traumas.
In the end, however, it's probably just best to stick to the most basic and straightforward version I can.
So ... Hi! I'm Nicole and I'm a Fertility Advocate and this page is dedicated to the story of how I got here.
Aww! Look at those kids! We were so young! Don't we look happy?
Good! Because we were exhausted! You would never know, would you? Weddings are exhausting, man! They're crazy affairs that cost a ton of money and bring a lot of drama to the table!
Thankfully, we made it through relatively unharmed ... and actually married!
Sometimes I look back on this picture and I think 'if I could only tell you'.
If I could have a chat with her, oh the things I would say!
1) You're not going to get pregnant this year ... but you will next year.
2) When you miscarry, it is NOT your fault.
3) The doctors won't be able to tell you what's wrong. Mostly because they won't be listening to you and they'll discount half your symptoms as ovulation. Do NOT get frustrated!
4) What you think a good wife is has NOTHING to do with being a good wife. STOP judging yourself!
5) Quit your job. NOW!
But, alas I can't go back, and you know what? That might be okay.
Because if I could give the newly married Nicole all of my advice from today she would impliment it and she wouldn't have to go through all those horrible lessons that I had to go through.
She wouldn't have seen doctor after doctor who brushed her off.
She wouldn't have had 4 miscarriages.
She wouldn't have struggled with finding boundaries and herself and her voice.
She wouldn't have walked in my shoes so she may not have found the answers I've found and so I might not be able to tell her my secrets by the time she got to be me ... it's one of those circular time travel paradox things.
So here I sit content with where I am, and trying to figure out how best to describe that.
When I got tired of the doctors not having answers for me, and I'd seen like 6-8 of them, I decided that there had to be answers and that I was going to find them. I knew something was wrong with my body, despite the fact that the doctors kept telling me nothing was. I knew that there had to be a way to fix my irregular periods, acne, fatigue, anxiety, painful sex, weight gain I couldn't lose, and infertility.
And guess what! I fixed it!
Well, most of it. I'm still working on the weightloss, but I'm on the right track, and now I seem to be able to concieve but am having trouble carrying to term. I mean, hey! We're all a work in progress right?
My point is that I knew my body was speaking to me and I set out to be my body's advocate. I stepped to the plate with the biggest bat I could find and I said 'let's do this!' and then I did it. Me and my body, together, figured it out and came to terms with what I needed.
And that's why I do what I do. Because I want to help you come to terms with your body too. I want to help you find the answers that you need to fix your list of issues and I want you to walk away with a baby from our experience together.
So when I say "Hi! I'm Nicole and I'm a Fertility Advocate" what I'm really saying is "I've been where you're at and I'm here to help you move forward because I know that you feel stuck and need serious help."
I've been there, I've heard them all...
I've cried when I got my period. I've cried when I haven't gotten it. I was told that God didn't want me to have children! I've pee'd on test after test after test. I've charted, temped and checked my mucus. Through tears I have typed "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!". I've restrained myself when a pregnant coworker made a joke about a wire hanger! I've had 4 miscarriages. I've had painful gushing periods, I've had no period, I've even had months of just spotting. I've seen doctor after doctor who didn't listen to me or only had artificial hormones and drugs to offer as an answer.
My top two favorites are: finding out my own father believes that we're being punished by God, and the time a guy around my age found out we didn't have children and began saying "I'm with you! Who wants kids?!"
I've been through all of this and more. Until one day I realized I had to fix my body myself. This body belongs to me, not anyone else. It was not the doctor's responsibility to fix it, it was mine. So I picked myself up out of the despair of infertility, started researching and learning and fixed my body. Now my mission is to help other women who are struggling to get pregnant.
Infertility is at an all time high. If you've been told there's nothing wrong, but can't seem to make that baby dust stick you probably have a hormone imbalance... take the quiz below to find out!